You can call her “baby,” “honey,” “sexy girl” or whatever flowery pet name you like – but if your actions don’t back up your words, she’s going to feel more frustrated than flattered.
Here’s the truth most men weren’t taught but need to hear:
Women fall in love with consistency, not charm.
You can’t talk your way into her heart if your behaviour is sending mixed signals. So, let’s get real about what women actually want – and what your job is in the relationship (hint: it’s not leaving your socks on the floor and calling that love).
1. Do What You Say You’re Going to Do
If you say you’re going to call, then call.
If you say you’ll be home at 6, don’t stroll in at 8.
If you promise to fix the damn tap, don’t let it drip for a month.
It’s not about being a robot. It’s about building trust. When you follow through on the little things, she feels safe leaning on you for the big stuff.
Consistency is sexy. Empty promises aren’t.
“Hormone Support Isn’t Just a Woman’s Job
Look, menopause is real and her hormones aren’t a joke. Supporting her naturally can make a huge difference. That’s why women over 40 are loving products like Harmony Plus or Her Balance.”
2. Show Her You’ve Got Her Back
No, this doesn’t mean storming into battle or throwing fists at anyone who looks at her. It means making her feel protected, respected, and prioritised.
That looks like:
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Defending her when someone talks down to her
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Noticing when she’s stressed and lightening her load
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Being emotionally available (yes, that one’s a biggie)
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Creating space where she can relax and not have to be “on” all the time
Your job is not to make her life harder. It’s to be her peace in a world that already asks a hell of a lot from her.
3. Don’t Make Her Your Mother
This one’s non-negotiable. She didn’t sign up to nag, clean up after you, remind you of basic life tasks, or emotionally parent you.
She wants to feel like your partner. Your equal. She wants to desire you – and trust me, desire dies a slow death when she’s playing housemaid and life coach.
Being vulnerable is great. Needing support is human. But relying on her to carry the mental load of both your lives while you skate through? That’s how resentment brews.
Pull your weight. Handle your shit. Be a grown man.
4. Don’t Talk About Your Ex (Especially Not on Holidays)
Here’s a pro tip:
Your new girlfriend doesn’t want to hear your ex’s name. Not once. Not ever.
You might think you’re just “sharing a funny story,” but what she hears is: I’m still hung up on my ex. And nothing kills attraction faster than feeling like second place.
So, here’s the deal: tell the story without dragging your ex into it. Because if you can’t stop name-dropping her, then do everyone a favour, pack your bags, and go crawl back to her.
Your girlfriend isn’t here to play therapist for your past relationships. She’s yours now. Treat her like it.
Fail this rule, and you won’t just lose her — you’ll earn yourself a reputation as the bloke who can’t move on. And trust me, nobody wants to sign up for that gig.
5. Romance is in the Action, Not Just the Words
You don’t need a Shakespearean sonnet. You need to show up.
Romance is:
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Taking note of what she loves – and doing it without being asked
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Touching her without expectation
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Remembering the small details she told you three weeks ago
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Making her feel chosen, even on an ordinary Tuesday
Women remember how you make them feel.
That’s what lasts. Not a recycled “good morning beautiful” text sent while you’re half asleep.
6. Be Her Lover, Her Partner, Her Friend
She wants all three. And if you only offer one, the relationship will always feel incomplete.
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As her lover, she wants passion, playfulness, and someone who makes her feel wanted.
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As her partner, she wants to feel like you’re a team, building a life together.
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As her friend, she wants to laugh, vent, and feel like she can be fully herself around you.
7. Don’t Cry in Front of Her (Unless It’s a Funeral)
This one stings, but it’s the truth.
Jordan Peterson hammers on this for a reason: women — especially strong women — don’t want to carry the weight of a man who collapses emotionally in front of them. They might sympathise in the moment, but deep down, the respect meter drops.
Why? Because respect and attraction are tied to strength. A woman needs to feel you can hold the line when life gets ugly. She wants to know you’re her anchor, not another storm she has to weather.
Yes, cry at funerals. That’s raw, human, and real. But breaking down over stress at work, financial struggles, or your insecurities? That’s not cathartic for her — it makes her question if you’re the man she can lean on.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: the moment she feels stronger than you emotionally, she stops looking up to you. And when respect is gone, so is the relationship.
So don’t misread this as “never feel” or “be a robot.” Feel everything. Process everything. Just don’t dump it all in her lap. Find another outlet — mates, mentors, the gym, even a bloody journal.
Be her strength, not another source of her stress.
8. She’s a Lady — Speak to Her Like One
You’ve got mates for banter, bloke jokes, and letting loose — she’s not one of them. She’s your woman. And she deserves to be spoken to with a different tone. Not crude. Not careless. Not like one of the boys at the pub.
You don’t need to tiptoe, but you do need to respect the difference. She’s not here for gutter talk or passive digs. She’s here for connection, for maturity, for real conversation with a man who knows how to hold his own.
You’re over 40 now. Speak like it. Act like it.
Elevate the way you communicate — and you’ll see her rise to meet you.
9. Money Isn’t Everything — But It Does Matter
Let’s be real: while love isn’t about dollar signs, stability matters. If you’re over 40 and still fumbling your finances, it’s time to take a hard look in the mirror. You don’t need to be a millionaire — but you do need to have your shit together.
A good woman wants to feel secure, not like she’s babysitting your bank account. She’s not looking for someone to fund her lifestyle — she’s looking for a man who can hold his own, pull his weight, and ideally, lead with confidence.
You don’t get to keep a high-value woman if you’re living pay-to-pay, dodging bills, or treating money like an afterthought.
Be consistent. Be accountable. Have a plan.
Because love might be emotional — but a relationship is practical, and money is a very real part of the picture.
10. Have a Hobby (and Stop Smothering Her)
Yes, we get it – you’re in love. But that doesn’t mean you need to be in her pocket 24/7. Women need space, independence, and time to breathe. And no, constantly groping her every time you walk past doesn’t count as affection – it just gets old.
Get a hobby. Build something. Ride something. Learn something.
Have a life that exists outside of her. It makes you more attractive, more grounded, and stops you from becoming emotionally needy without even realising it.
11. Look After Yourself
You don’t need to be a gym junkie – but you do need to move your body. Staying active as you age isn’t just about vanity; it’s about vitality. If you want to be desirable, stay somewhere close to the man she fell for. That means not completely letting yourself go and blaming it on "getting older."
She’s not asking for abs. She’s asking for effort.
12. Don’t Talk About Yourself Constantly
This one’s for the gym bros, the entrepreneurs, and any bloke who thinks dinner is the perfect stage for a 20-minute play-by-play of his day. Spoiler: it’s not. It’s exhausting.
She doesn’t want to hear your entire bench press routine, the exact weight you squatted, or how many grams of protein you squeezed into your shake. And here’s the kicker: being vain is not a great personality feature, and neither is being a show pony. By all means, be confident — women love a man who knows his worth. But being a “look at me” type who constantly fishes for attention? That’s the most unattractive feature in any man. In fact, dating data shows women swipe left on around 80% of men on apps like OkCupid — and behaviours linked to vanity, arrogance, and self-obsession are some of the quickest deal-breakers.
Here’s the thing: she wants a conversation, not a lecture. Talk with her, not at her. Ask questions. Listen to her answers. Respond like you actually care.
And most importantly, read the room. If she’s giving short replies, distracted, giving you an eye roll or just not engaging back — she’s switched off. That’s your cue to stop talking, change the topic, or better yet, ask her something about her.
Because the fastest way to make a woman mentally check out is to turn every interaction into a one-man show about yourself.
13. Don’t Talk About Your Work in Minute Detail
She doesn’t need — or want — a blow-by-blow rundown of your entire shift on the tools. Share the big stuff if you must, but don’t unload every nail you hammered, trench you dug, or hour you spent on the jackhammer. And here’s where plenty of blokes slip up: thinking that because their work is physical, it somehow makes it harder than what she does. Don’t ever say that — it won’t go down well.
And please, don’t turn it into a nightly whinge session. Your job is to do your job. If you’re unhappy, be proactive: fix it, change it, or find something else. Oh, and don’t ever tell her she “doesn’t understand how tough” your work is — that’s a fast way to lose respect.
Here’s the reality: you probably don’t see half of what she manages in a single day. The multitasking, the problem-solving, the constant demands — it’s a lot, and she gets it done. So yes, you work hard, and that’s good. But stop fishing for pats on the back and constant reassurance. And definitely don’t expect sympathy every time you say you’ve had a “tough day” — chances are, so has she.
Conclusion: There’s Light at the End of the Tunnel
Here’s the good news: she’s not asking you to be perfect at all of this. Nobody is. What she does ask is that you’re aware — and that you try. Some of these points will sting because you’ll recognise yourself in them. That’s actually a positive. It means you know where you trip up, and from there, you can work on doing it less or doing it better.
And let’s be honest — most men are good at heart. You want to love well, protect, and be respected. But midlife is tricky. For many men in their 40s and 50s, this is a time of big shifts — second marriages, third marriages, new relationships, blended families, and lessons learned the hard way. You’ve seen enough life to know what you don’t want, but sometimes you’re still figuring out what she does want.
That’s why this list isn’t about tearing you down. It’s a guide. Because women in their 40s and 50s are not the same as women in their 20s. They’re wiser, sharper, less patient with nonsense, and far more aware of their own worth. They don’t need rescuing — they need partnership. They want to know you’re walking beside them, not dragging behind or running ahead.
Here’s the light at the end of the tunnel: she will be patient with you if she can see you’re genuinely trying. She won’t get cranky if you don’t get it right from day one. What matters is consistency — showing her that you’re listening, learning, and meeting her halfway. Do that, and she’ll rise to meet you too, and together you’ll walk the rest of the way side by side.
Because in the end, it’s not about being flawless. It’s about effort, self-awareness, and proving through your actions that she made the right choice in choosing you. And for a man in his 40s or 50s, that’s not just possible — it’s the best chance you’ll ever have at building the kind of love that actually lasts.
